Your best bud, brother, or anonymous acquaintance is getting hitched. Woohoo, it’s party time! But wait: the groom’s asked you to handle a speech for their wedding reception.
Try not to pout too hard – while it may seem like a big chore, presenting a wedding speech doesn’t have to mean your night (or your buddy’s) will be a total bust. Grab a brewskie, find a pen, and use these four speech writing tips to ensure your speech doesn’t end in bored guests, shocked in-laws, or an escort from the room.
Keep it simple, stupid!
Look, it’s a wedding, not your congressional speech. Keep it short and punchy so your buddy’s great-aunt Ida doesn’t start dozing in her seat. A good rule of thumb is to limit the speech to a couple minutes (or maybe half a beer). You don’t really want your moment to end with that please-shut-up music they play at the end of an Oscar acceptance.
Hey, hey, we’ll willingly admit that a funny speech is a great way to lighten the mood (as long as the groom’s father-in-law doesn’t drop his eyebrows too low), but don’t be too mean. It’s all in good fun to tease your mate with some embarrassing stories and inside jokes, but if things get too brutal it can definitely harsh the evening’s buzz. Remember, grandparents will be in attendance.
Look, you might not be a fan of your buddy’s new bride, or maybe your estranged brother has asked you to speak and you’re not feeling the love. If you’re struggling to think of anything nice to say about the happy couple, it’s probably best to bow out before the big day and suggest they pick another guest to speak. Let someone else take that heat!
Be a bro
Most importantly, remember that this isn’t your day. The groom has probably forked out a bucketload of moola for this day, and you’re getting free booze and food out of the deal, after all. Rather than saying things for your own amusement, try to think of what will make your buddy happy. Say some nice words, thank them for a great night, and remember to raise a glass at the end.
Now you’ve got your biggest chore for the wedding handled, it’s officially time to organise a buck’s night to unleash everything you couldn’t say in front of those elderly wedding guests.